A word aptly spoken

ENCOURAGING WORDS.......

"Encourage one another and BUILD each other up." I Thess. 5:11
"But encourage one another DAILY...." Heb. 3:13

The definition of encouragement is...the action of giving someone support, confidence or hope. To inspire with hope, courage or confidence.

I have been blessed with many people in my life that have been an encouragement to me. Family- friends- strangers. I want to be the kind of person that is continually building up the people in my life. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, " Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be." How great would it be to BE that person for others? To fill our spouses, children, and friends with HOPE, CONFIDENCE,AND COURAGE should be one of our greatest desires.I know it is not so easy as it sounds as LIFE gets in the way and our own desires for others to encourage us sometimes wins out.
I want this to be a "practical" blog. HOW to be that person. I am just giving examples of what others have done for me or for what I have done. There are WORDS spoken- WORDS- written- NO WORDS- just your presence. There are the WORDS of a spouse- WORDS of a mother- WORDS of a friend.

AS A WIFE-WORDS SPOKEN
"We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out." Winston Churchill
We, as wives, have the power to BUILD our husbands up or tear them down. I have learned that keeping quiet sometimes is just as important as speaking. You know your man, and when is a good time to speak and when not to; however, all the time is a good time to speak positive things! They have hopes, dreams, plans-- be the one that is there beside him- encouraging him with your words. We know that once our words are out, we can't take them back. I have done that way too many times in my life, and while I am sure I still do that at times, my goal- my desire- is not to! "Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." Ps 141:3

WRITTEN-
I know there are different love languages and all, and maybe your husband is different, but mine LOVES all the notes I write for him. I used to call them "coffee pot" notes because I would leave them by the coffee pot when I went to work, but now I am up, fixing his lunchbox, and so I put them in there. If he goes on a trip, I hide them (along with his favorite candy) in his suitcase. They aren't just a note. I make sure they are encouraging (even on days when I FEEL not so encouraging). Quotes about different things, things I love about him, scriptures, etc.. You can leave them anywhere!

AS A MOTHER- SPOKEN

My kids are mostly all grown, and if I could go back and RE-DO those years - as far as encouragement goes- I would. I was not the best, BUT I still have today and tomorrow!! IT is just as important to encourage your older teens and adult kids as it is for the young ones. If yours are still young--- encourage them in WHO they are, and WHAT they want to do. Don't belittle their thoughts, ideas or hopes. (well, the same is true for your older ones too) Speak it out! Tell them how proud you are of them- if you aren't proud of them--- surely you can find something to be proud of! All of us have something in us to be praised. Also, if you speak what CAN be- What you believe they can be- you will encourage their hearts and they may just want to rise to the occasion.
An example in my life- my 3rd child- Micah- so much like his mother, and always challenging me. I definitely have not done all things right by him, but he is a very talented drummer, guitar player and writer. He struggled in school and in following - anyone. I hopefully have always encouraged him in his music. He may or may not be a "professional" musician, but he has followed his dreams.There were times it was just easier to fuss at him about his schooling or any other thing I could find, but I did try not to squash his dreams. There are plenty of other examples from each of my 4. I'm not saying any of this to sound like I have it ALL TOGETHER- I don't, and I sure didn't when my kids were smaller. (regret is another topic)
We do need to teach and instruct our children, but Johann Von Goethe said, " Instruction does much, but encouragement-everything."

WORDS WRITTEN-
This is where I am really working on doing better myself. I think all of our kids - young or old- would love hand written letters from us. Not even letter, but encouraging notes, just like the ones for our spouses.

AS A FRIEND- SPOKEN

"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." Prov. 12:25

I know it is easier for us to do this for our friends sometimes than for our family. If I were to write down all the words spoken by my friends to encourage me, it would be a very large book!
Friends- we choose them. They are the ones that we love to laugh with, do things with, and hopefully be there for when things aren't so good. These past few years have been a difficult time for me in some ways, and all I know if it wasn't for the WORDS spoken by friends, I don't know where I would be. Those same friends didn't just speak words of encouragement- they put them to action.
- just being there and lending an ear or praying
- providing rides, food, even cell phones!
- getting me out of the house
- and even borrowing a car for a "while"
I thank God for them every single day!

When it comes to the written word, maybe it is just me, because I LIKE the written word, but as friends we don't do that so much. So, a lot of times for me to be an encouragement, I will send a note in the mail! Yes, the real, old fashioned mail! I still like getting a card in the mail!

Just remember, "Man does not live by bread alone- sometimes he needs a little buttering up." John Maxwell

Family

So, I've been wanting to start a blog for some time but just haven't. I'm still not so sure yet what all I want or need to say! Who really cares? Right?
Just like when Hamlet was asked what he was reading.... his reply..." words, words, words." That is all it is! We all have them in us, and I suppose we want to put them down in print.... like they are important or something.


FAMILY--- there is a WORD for you. What does it bring to your mind? Love, acceptance, nurturing, hurt, betrayal, unforgiveness?
Probably a little of all of the above, if you have lived long enough.
Are any of us completely unscathed by our upbringing? And are our children? 
This whole thought on family has really changed for me these past few years. I look into the Bible and even from the very beginning, family has been a mess to say the least. If I listed them all, it would be all of them! 
A few that stand out to me though...
Hagar- She was just a slave girl. She had no say in what Sarai had concocted. So, she married Abram too and became pregnant. All the sudden, Sarai wants her gone! She leaves, and God sees her and tells her to go back and that He would make her descendants very numerous. So, she goes back. Then, when Isaac is born and Sarai is jealous again.... God gives them permission to send her and Ishmael away. He protects them and watches over them.
They made the mistakes-- they messed things up--- God still took them and made something out of it. The consequences are still with us today however.

Tamar- King David's daughter- She was wanted by her half brother, and he did everything to get her in bed. Once he did, he hated her and wanted her gone. She was devastated and told him he could marry her, but he just wanted her out of his sight. The Bible says she lived in her brother's house a desolate woman the rest of her days. WHERE was her father? Why did Absolam just keep quiet about it (until he killed him 2 yrs later)? The king's daughter-- living desolate!
She is so much like many of us as the KINGS's daughters (or sons).

We can let our family situations keep us living desolate or we can choose something better. 
Sometimes we can't do anything about our family situations and sometimes we can. It may have been something you did- it may have been something that was done to you- it may have been just horrible circumstances that you didn't have any control over-
"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will NOT FORGET you! See, I have you engraved on the palms of my hands, your walls are ever before me!" Is. 49:15-16
"Forget your people and your father's house, the KING is enthralled with your beauty." Ps. 45:10-11

All I know-- I have messed up! I did things I am not proud of, and I know it hurt those I love. I know that the way my family has responded to me has not been one I understand and maybe never will. There has been hurt on both sides and it may never be healed.
The consequences of my actions will always be with me. I can NOT undo them, but I can go forward with a God that promises " Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lam 3:23
I could list lots of verses. I know I am forgiven. 
For some reason though, some in my family think they have done nothing wrong, and maybe they never will. 
I have learned that for my kids- I will ALWAYS be here- no matter what they do. 


My view, on life in general, is that it is SHORT. Why do we want to waste time on unforgiveness? We ALL make mistakes, and thankfully I have a God who didn't just forgive me ONCE, but always. 
Consequences are always there! I feel them all the time; however, I am blessed and still loved. 
My new life is different. I LOVE differently now. I have learned quite a few things and still have plenty to learn. LOVE.... FORGIVENESS....GRACE....MERCY..... 
We all love those WORDS and like to see them in our life. See how much of that you can give out? When you are full of HIM.. it can be done.
You can even extend it to those that have hurt you. He tells us to do that.

Well, I could go on forever I guess. I will stop my WORDY rambling for now. 

Sherree